How to Get Lost

This constant forward movement
has made a blur of everything.
Even you
are not as clear
as even yesterday.

Is it bad that I miss you
not with the decapitating pain
of a crushed bone –
not with the haunting memory
of a missing limb –
but with the sweet senese
of a secret
I can’t wait to reveal?

After all, loving you
does not hurt.

I do not bruise
remembering your touch,
I do not burn
imagining your breath,
I do not cry acid tears
when your eyes
dance circles around me
even in this photograph,
even in my mind.

Is it bad that I do not fear this slight separation?
This pause?
This insignificant
delay
between our life and

our

life?

After all, I am never alone.
You are here, even here,
even now.

You are the business man
sleeping soundly in the next seat.
You are the impatient woman in 15B
who cannot wait to land.

You are Joni Mitchell’s sweet
sweet voice and
you are a hundred country songs that leave me
choked up
every time.

You are the baby girl several rows ahead.
You are every laugh from my
tiny tiny screen and every
witty line of dialogue in Ocean’s 12.

How can I miss you any other way?

You are my pilot
after all.

You bring me home.

Okay, there are more pictures of Amy on this site than there are of me.

But I’ve way more content than she does.

I can live with that.

The world is already past
by the time I see it
Just a glimpse and it’s gone

Life is like that
We can only ever look back at yesterday
at this morning
at the last words we spoke

And so I watch the scenery fade
moving 70 km/h down a bumpy rail

You aren’t here
and I can’t yet see you
waiting at the end of the line

But I close my eyes and see you still
at the place I began
this long journey back to

you

Some companies, those that want to be “fun” companies, sometimes give their staff things like shirts, bags, water jugs, and various other bits of paraphernalia emblazoned with the company logo.

A couple of years ago, Critical Mass gave us sling bags, in either blue or yellow, with the Critical Mass logo on the back. Some people thought they were kinda dorky. Me? I’m loving this thing!

I don’t know who specifically chose this bag style, but I’ll assume it was someone like Cyndy. This bag has been lugged most of the way around the world now, acting as my day pack. It’s been on the Great Wall. It’s been through the Hermitage. It’s seen the deserts of Mongolia. And it’s been rained on a couple of times (including a nice, semi-tropical downpour) and kept my stuff dry!

So far, the only problem has been the stitching falling apart on the velcro for the side flap. Nothing 30 minutes with a sewing kit can’t fix.

Did I mention that I love this bag?